Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Bananas Flambe

One of my family's favorite desserts is this recreated version of Bananas Foster.  It is quick, easy, quite the show, and delicious.

WARNING: I accept no responsibility should anyone burn their house down attempting this recipe.  You don't have to ignite the dish, it's just way cooler if you do.

Bananas Flambe
Serves 4

2 barely ripe bananas, cut lengthwise and into thirds
2 TBSP coconut oil
2 TBSP honey
2 TBSP bourbon (you could also use rum)
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp vanilla extract
Vanilla ice cream (optional, but highly recommended)

Melt coconut oil in large skillet over medium-high heat.  Arrange bananas in skillet and brown, approximately 3 minutes per side.  While bananas are frying, mix together honey, bourbon, and vanilla extract.  When bananas are browned on both sides, sprinkle with cinnamon.  Pour sauce over bananas and, if cooking with gas, tilt pan slightly until alcohol ignites (you could also use a cooking torch or match to do this if you have an electric stove).  Let flames burn down.  Serve over ice cream, if desired.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Paleo BBQ Pork Meatballs - aka AMAZEBALLS

Paleo BBQ Pork Meatballs

2 lbs ground pork (don't use lean pork with this or you'll regret it.  Embrace the fat for this recipe!)
2 TBSP honey
2 TBSP tomato paste
1/2 TBSP vinegar
1 tsp sea salt
1/4 tsp liquid smoke
1/4 tsp cayenne powder
1/2 tsp garlic salt
1/2 tsp onion powder

Preheat oven to 375. Line baking sheet with foil.

Mix all ingredients in large mixing bowl. You're going to have to get your hands messy and dig in.  Form 1" balls and place on baking sheet. I got 24 large meatballs from this recipe.

Bake for 30 mins.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Slow Cooker Boeuf Bourguignon - Paleo Zone

Well hello!  Our gym is in the beginning of an 8 week Paleo-Zone challenge. I thought it might help if I posted some recipes I use to save time during the work week.  This Boeuf Bourguignon is hearty and delicious and made mostly in the crockpot.  Prep it in the morning and have dinner ready when you get home, or do like I do and make it AFTER you've already eaten dinner and cook it through the night so it is ready for the next night's dinner. 

This recipe is family-size plus leftovers because when I'm Zoning I don't make a single meal without room for leftovers to help cut prep times down.  If you are cooking for just two, cut it in half.


 Slow-Cooker Boeuf Bourguinon


8 slices bacon, chopped
4 lbs beef stew meat
4 large carrots, peeled and cut
1 yellow onion, sliced
1 tsp oregano
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 cup dry red wine
1 cup beef broth
2 TBSP Worcestershire sauce
1 lb sliced mushrooms (I used baby bellas)
2 TBSP arrowroot powder
Salt and pepper


Pan fry bacon until crisp.  Remove from oil and pour most of oil from skillet, leaving enough to brown beef.  Sear beef on high until browned. 
Place vegetables, beef, bacon, and remaining juices from skillet in slow cooker.
Combine liquids, oregano, salt and pepper and pour over veggies and beef. 
Cook on low for 7 hours or until beef is tender.
Remove beef and veggies from pot with slotted spoon.  Pour liquids into sauce pan and bring to a boil.  Combine arrowroot powder with 1/4 cup warm water, until dissolved.  Pour into boiling liquids while stirring.  It should thicken to a gravy immediately.  Pour over beef/veggies.
Serve over Cauliflower mashers.
Zone portioning: Each 3/4 cup serving contains 5 blocks protein.  This recipe as written makes about 12-13 servings.  Although there are some carbs and fat in the recipe, there is less than one block per serving, so I have not counted it.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Primal Eggs Benedict

This recipe contains dairy, so those of you who don't eat any dairy might as well skip on by this one.  For those of you who do...party on!  Super simple recipe that will make the whole family happy.

Primal Eggs Benedict

Breakfast Sausage

For the Hollandaise sauce -
3/4 cup Grass Fed Butter
3 egg yolks
Juice of 1 lemon
Pinch Cayenne Pepper
Pinch Salt

Form patties with breakfast sausage and pan fry until cooked through.  This will replace the English Muffin in traditional Eggs Benedict.

Melt butter over low-medium heat.  Place egg yolks, lemon juice, cayenne pepper, and salt in blender or food processor.  Blend together and slowly drizzle melted butter while blender is running.  Sauce will thicken.  Once thick, add remaining butter.  If it never thickens, place in sauce pan and cook down.  If it is too thick, add a little warm water.

Fry eggs.  Place eggs over sausage patties and top with Hollandaise Sauce.  Garnish with paprika and a parsley.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Paleo Key Lime Pie

I saw a version of this pie on that evil site that makes us all feel completely inadequate because we lack the creativity and time of those who post pictures of their beautiful works of art and say it took them 10 minutes to create, yet when you try to recreate it you spend an hour and it looks nothing like what they made Pinterest.  I changed it up a bit to make it Paleo and it was a hit with the fam.  Consistency is somewhat like a cheesecake, but yummy lime flavor.

Paleo Key Lime Pie


Filling -
6 avocados
6 TBSP honey
1 cup coconut oil
2/3 cup lime juice

Crust - 
1 1/2 cups almond flour/meal
1/2 cup dates
2 TBSP almond butter
2 TBSP honey
1/4 cup unsweetened coconut, shredded
1/4 cup coconut flour


Place all crust ingredients in food processor and pulse until grainy.  It should stick together when you press on it, but not form a ball by itself.  If it does, add more almond flour.

Dump blended ingredients into spring form pan and press down to form crust.

Wipe out food processor and place all filling ingredients within.  Blend for several minutes (4-5) until completely smooth.  

Pour over crust and smooth out.

Place pie in freezer for 1-2 hours.  Serve chilled.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Guest Post: Stephanie Ludwigsen

Steph emailed me this morning about how proud she was to have both gone to the WOD and eaten Paleo all in one day.  She sent me a picture of her dinner and it looked fabulous!  I asked her to write a guest post.  Fasten your seatbelts, as it's written in true Yolanda Squatpump style.

Pesto Pepper and Chicken - Slack Ass Style

Most importantly, this recipe is for slack-asses (like me).
If it takes longer than eleven minutes to prep, then I've likely moved on to the next shiny object in the house or am already on my way to Taco Bell.

I don't cook.  I abhor cooking. It sucks my will to live but I managed to slap some prettiness together quicker than my body slaps the ground in a round of 20 burpees.

I also doth protest having to go to the store and buy a bunch of crap for a pinch of pointless and a dash of annoying.  If it's not already in my Fridge or Freezer, well then, "F" it.

So if this sounds vaguely familiar then you may potentially like my masterpiece of underachievement.


Okay, this part is easy.  Thaw chicken "breast-icles" and slap your meat (yep, I went there) with some olive oil, salt and pepper.  Boom.  We're done.

Cook that little bird in the over for 45 minutes at 350 degrees.

Pesto Peppers:

This was kind of fun.  It's like a cup...but for FOOD!  Slice the top off and pull out the seeds and all the weird crap that's all soft 'n squishy.  Does that stuff have a name?

Smear the inside with pesto, 'cause pesto is amazing (sorry, I don't measure things either.  I think "smear" officially translates to "a few tablespoons-ish").

Sprinkle it with salt, pepper and a little garlic (the kind from the jar.  I refuse to press fresh garlic or buy a special instrument to do such a comical thing...that's just goofy_.

Then crack an egg on top of the "pesto-ey-goodness" (it's a word, I looked it up).  Put on a baking sheet and fling those bad boys into the over with the chicken for 30 minutes at 350.

Boom.  Winning!  The end.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Perfect Lamb Chops

8 lamb chops, about 3/4-1" thick
3 tsp minced garlic
2 tablespoon fresh rosemary leaves
1 tablespoon fresh thyme leaves
Pinch cayenne pepper
Coarse sea salt
1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil


Food process the garlic and spices until well combined. Pour in olive oil and pulse into a paste. Rub the paste on both sides of the thawed lamb chops and let them marinate for at least 1 hour in the refrigerator. Remove from refrigerator and allow the chops to come to room temperature; it will take about 20-30 minutes.

Heat your grill or skillet to high heat...hot. Almost smoking.  Add your chops and sear on first side, uncovered for about 3 minutes.  Flip them over and cook for another 3 minutes.  Serve them medium rare.  Don't you dare overcook these delicate little pearls of deliciousness.