Primal Eggs Benedict

This recipe contains dairy, so those of you who don't eat any dairy might as well skip on by this one.  For those of you who do...party on!  Super simple recipe that will make the whole family happy.

Primal Eggs Benedict

Ingredients:
Eggs
Breakfast Sausage

For the Hollandaise sauce -
3/4 cup Grass Fed Butter
3 egg yolks
Juice of 1 lemon
Pinch Cayenne Pepper
Pinch Salt

Method:
Form patties with breakfast sausage and pan fry until cooked through.  This will replace the English Muffin in traditional Eggs Benedict.

Melt butter over low-medium heat.  Place egg yolks, lemon juice, cayenne pepper, and salt in blender or food processor.  Blend together and slowly drizzle melted butter while blender is running.  Sauce will thicken.  Once thick, add remaining butter.  If it never thickens, place in sauce pan and cook down.  If it is too thick, add a little warm water.

Fry eggs.  Place eggs over sausage patties and top with Hollandaise Sauce.  Garnish with paprika and a parsley.

Paleo Key Lime Pie

I saw a version of this pie on that evil site that makes us all feel completely inadequate because we lack the creativity and time of those who post pictures of their beautiful works of art and say it took them 10 minutes to create, yet when you try to recreate it you spend an hour and it looks nothing like what they made Pinterest.  I changed it up a bit to make it Paleo and it was a hit with the fam.  Consistency is somewhat like a cheesecake, but yummy lime flavor.

Paleo Key Lime Pie

Ingredients:

Filling -

6 avocados

6 TBSP honey

1 cup coconut oil

2/3 cup lime juice

Crust - 

1 1/2 cups almond flour/meal

1/2 cup dates

2 TBSP almond butter

2 TBSP honey

1/4 cup unsweetened coconut, shredded

1/4 cup coconut flour

Method:

Place all crust ingredients in food processor and pulse until grainy.  It should stick together when you press on it, but not form a ball by itself.  If it does, add more almond flour.

Dump blended ingredients into spring form pan and press down to form crust.

Wipe out food processor and place all filling ingredients within.  Blend for several minutes (4-5) until completely smooth.  

Pour over crust and smooth out.

Place pie in freezer for 1-2 hours.  Serve chilled.

Guest Post: Stephanie Ludwigsen

Steph emailed me this morning about how proud she was to have both gone to the WOD and eaten Paleo all in one day.  She sent me a picture of her dinner and it looked fabulous!  I asked her to write a guest post.  Fasten your seatbelts, as it's written in true Yolanda Squatpump style.

Pesto Pepper and Chicken - Slack Ass Style

Most importantly, this recipe is for slack-asses (like me).
If it takes longer than eleven minutes to prep, then I've likely moved on to the next shiny object in the house or am already on my way to Taco Bell.

I don't cook.  I abhor cooking. It sucks my will to live but I managed to slap some prettiness together quicker than my body slaps the ground in a round of 20 burpees.

I also doth protest having to go to the store and buy a bunch of crap for a pinch of pointless and a dash of annoying.  If it's not already in my Fridge or Freezer, well then, "F" it.

So if this sounds vaguely familiar then you may potentially like my masterpiece of underachievement.

Chicken:

Okay, this part is easy.  Thaw chicken "breast-icles" and slap your meat (yep, I went there) with some olive oil, salt and pepper.  Boom.  We're done.

Cook that little bird in the over for 45 minutes at 350 degrees.

Pesto Peppers:

This was kind of fun.  It's like a cup...but for FOOD!  Slice the top off and pull out the seeds and all the weird crap that's all soft 'n squishy.  Does that stuff have a name?

Smear the inside with pesto, 'cause pesto is amazing (sorry, I don't measure things either.  I think "smear" officially translates to "a few tablespoons-ish").

Sprinkle it with salt, pepper and a little garlic (the kind from the jar.  I refuse to press fresh garlic or buy a special instrument to do such a comical thing...that's just goofy_.

Then crack an egg on top of the "pesto-ey-goodness" (it's a word, I looked it up).  Put on a baking sheet and fling those bad boys into the over with the chicken for 30 minutes at 350.

Boom.  Winning!  The end.

Perfect Lamb Chops

Ingredients:

 

8 lamb chops, about 3/4-1" thick

3 tsp minced garlic

2 tablespoon fresh rosemary leaves

1 tablespoon fresh thyme leaves

Pinch cayenne pepper

Coarse sea salt

1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil

Method:

Food process the garlic and spices until well combined. Pour in olive oil and pulse into a paste. Rub the paste on both sides of the thawed lamb chops and let them marinate for at least 1 hour in the refrigerator. Remove from refrigerator and allow the chops to come to room temperature; it will take about 20-30 minutes.

Heat your grill or skillet to high heat...hot. Almost smoking.  Add your chops and sear on first side, uncovered for about 3 minutes.  Flip them over and cook for another 3 minutes.  Serve them medium rare.  Don't you dare overcook these delicate little pearls of deliciousness.

 

Garlic and Rosemary Roasted Sweet Potatoes

The measurements in this one are a rough estimate, as I threw it together last minute and didn't measure a thing.  This is my best guess, but there's room for error for sure!

Garlic and Rosemary Roasted Sweet Potatoes

Ingredients:

2 large sweet potatoes, diced into 1" chunks - leave peels on (best news ever)
1 TBSP minced garlic
2 TBSP olive oil
2 TBSP fresh rosemary leaves
1 TBSP dried thyme
1/2 TBSP coarse sea salt
pepper, to taste

Method:

Boil sweet potato chunks until soft but still firm (does that make any sense?)...al dente.  Remove potatoes from water; drain thoroughly. 

Preheat broiler to 400 F. Set oven rack to one above middle.

Place drained potatoes in large mixing bowl, add remaining ingredients, toss until coated evenly.

Pour potatoes out on baking sheet in single layer.  Broil for about 10 mins.  I might be making this time up.  Watch them, every oven is different.  You'll want to take them out when they start to brown a bit.  When this happens, take them out and flip 'em over and stir them up.  Broil another 10 mins or whatever time frame is realistic. 

Greek Salad

I apologize for not including any inspiring words, insight, humor or knowledge.  I can barely find the time to type out the ingredients for my recipes right now.  So...in an effort to at least post some things, I will just be posting the recipes for a while.

Now that I think about it, some of you are probably like, "Thank GOD!!!" ;-)

Simple and quick.  There's nothing better than that.  This recipe takes five minutes to throw together and is really yummy.

Greek Salad

Ingredients:

Salad
2 english cucumbers, sliced into 3/4" rounds then quartered
1 medium red onion, finely diced
2 cups grape tomatoes, halved
1-2 cups (your preference) calmata olives, drained and rinsed
1 cup feta cheese, crumbled (optional)

Dressing
Juice of 1 lemon
1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
1 clove garlic, minced
1 teaspoon dried oregano
salt and pepper to taste

Method:

Combine all veggies and olives in large salad bowl.  The dressing is completely optional as the mixture of veggies is delicious in itself.  If you choose to use the dressing, add a little at a time, mixing to coat the veggies until you reach your desired flavor.

This is a great last-minute recipe and pairs well with many, many entrees.